I panicked. After a couple weeks of writing, I got a serious dose of anxiety. I can’t keep this up. I have nothing to say. I don’t have time. This was a bad idea! So I decided to call it quits, and give up. Almost immediately after my decision to stop what I had barely started, I began to miss it. Then I got a little kick in the butt, and I knew I had made a mistake. That original anxiety that made me stop didn’t come from nowhere. I knew there were some changes to make.
Being True to Myself
I’m first and foremost a Christian. Not because it is some achievement that sets me above anyone else, but because I acknowledge the sin that cuts me down and separates me from God. My belief in Jesus, that he restores me to the Father in a way I could never do on my own, shapes my entire worldview. I cannot look at the world the same because I am a Christ follower, and writing a blog without acknowledging that fact is ignoring who I am. I cannot live the same because I am a different person in Christ.
That is change number one. These are not just the writings of a man, but of a Christian man. Not every topic I cover will be about faith, but every topic I cover will reflect my faith. The way I speak and the truths I attempt to understand, it should all reflect well on Christ and my fellow Christians. That doesn’t mean I expect people to agree, but I want the words I say to bring people closer to knowing God. My hope is that this perspective doesn’t turn people away, but that is probably unavoidable. To those who don’t necessarily share my beliefs but read anyway, I hope they will see something that challenges their thinking about Christians. Maybe you’ve known a Christian in the past or saw one on an overpass that gave you a negative impression. I’d like to do my best to change that. I want to operate with a mindset that I’m on a mission to change those impressions.
No Offense But…
The next change is that I’m not going to be afraid of offending people. This seems like a really strange follow-up to “Hey, I’m a Christian!” Fear has a way of neutering what you believe. Truth gets cut out and set aside until all that’s left is a bland shadow of some alternate and uninspiring you. I found myself shying away from certain topics because I knew people would disagree. On a journey where you’re seeking truth, people will inevitably come to different conclusions about what truths are actually true. This fear of offending people can be paralyzing. You start censoring yourself, and the minute you do that, the words that come out are no longer truly you. It’s a version of you, but it’s not the real you.That doesn’t mean I want to offend people, but if I do, I’m sure it will lead to some good discussion. I hope that I can speak with a voice that people find inviting, and even if they disagree, they’ll find it the most enjoyable disagreement they’ve ever had.
I Need More Freedom…
Another change is that I want to expand the focus of the site. I still want to write about life and men, but my focus was a little narrow before. There are only so many things I can say about men and friends. Here’s how it will be expanding.
First, while I have lots to say about men and relationships in general, I also want to discuss what it means to be a Christian man. What does our identity in Christ mean when it comes to being a man? How does it affect all the relationships we have? How can we grow spiritually? These are questions I want to ponder.
Next, if something comes up in the news or culture that seems relevant, I want to talk about it. This is where things could get controversial, but people are longing to make sense of our world. People are more divided than ever when it comes to religion and politics. Facebook posts seem like they aren’t even worth commenting on because you know what it will devolve into. So my goal isn’t to be controversial. I’m sure it will be to some people, but hopefully I can approach sensitive topics without being too polarizing.
This is a Marathon
And the final change is that I came out of the gates at a sprint, and it was a pace I could never sustain. I want to write, but I also don’t want to force anything. If a day or two goes by and I have nothing to say, then I have to be OK with a little silence. If no one shares my post on Facebook, I need to be OK with that. This is a marathon, and if I’m in, then I’m in for the long haul, but I need it to be sustainable.
I’ve spent the last few weeks doing a lot of praying, and asking God to help me understand if this is something I should continue. This desire to write, to try and understand the world, and to share it with people isn’t a passing feeling, but something has changed. When I was younger, I had opinions, and I just threw them out into cyberspace with no purpose. I feel different now. I feel a responsibility to show the love of Christ. I want to grow my faith with other Christians. I want to challenge my beliefs and fight complacency.
Hopefully this reboot will be more like the James Franco Planet of the Apes reboot and not the Mark Wahlberg one.